Mr Muscle

I have a horrible penchant for films with senseless and unnecessary violence

....a trait not shared by the rest of my acquaintance/family...

Explosions, Guns (yes, the kind that deserve a capital letter, *smirks*), Crocodile Dundee Knives, and common household implements used in unfortunate ways...

All this in spite of an embarrassing low squickyness threshold. Le sigh.

In the depths of my addiction I have even, and this is really shameful - *whispers*

I have even watched The Marine.

You can't get much lower than a WWE film. At least I hope not. It isn't merely lacking in plot - it's plot negative, it actually sucks bits out of your brain as you watch. In a fun, non permanent, way, honest.

I hope.

Which means my fondness for beefed up boys is still something of a guilty secret - well, almost.

Before you start commenting...
Not THAT beefed up - I hear things start to shrivel...

Only kidding! I mean, really, ew much?

This is more like it!
Ah, Vin Diesel

Lets take a moment to appreciate the pretty

There.

Now we return to your scheduled broadcast

This hopefully goes some way to explain why I'm watching a Jean Claude Van Damme film where he just punched a snake out.

Seriously.

A Cobra

Imagine a Batman (Adam West!) style Kapow and you would not be far off

Guys are encouraged to supposed to be able to get in touch with their feminine side, so my getting in touch with my inner adolescent boy is really to be commended.

Okay so my excuses need to be a little more convincing, it's a work in progress, bear with me.

But really,

is it any surprise I totally

JCVD?

In Hard Target (and I quote) JCVD plays "an American merchant sailor [who] finds his martial arts skills tested to the limit when he investigates a group of sadistic hunters who stalk human quarry."

For real homies

Its vintage 1993, with JCVD looking like, well, this

You can't get the full impact of the matrixy coat that has Miami vice sleeves, but you do get to see !mullet. And children, isn't it worth it? Plus the token love interest has real honest to god eyebrows, a thing to be commended at all times.

(Is it obvious that I look like Groucho Marx? Although i can't wiggle them for toffee. My idols)
so much better than Phil Collins

While Chuck Norris is, well Chuck Norris, JCVD (has !mullet *snort*) studied ballet and he was in a Bob Sinclair video. Bob Sinclair's music is soooo H A P P Y H A P P Y I knoooow I am, I'm suuuuure I am, I'm H A P P YYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*tumbleweed*

er yes, suffice it to say it's rather cheery and he tangoes.

I also happen to heart Strictly Come Dancing

This fact may bias me when it comes to dance appreciation

But see for yourself

Lets spread the love for these aging 80s action stars people - their retirement funds are running L.O.W.